Daddy 5704

For me, choosing a man with whom to conceive a child wasn’t near as onerous of a task as it may sound. When you think about it, most people don’t really “choose” at all. They fall in love, or have a lapse in contraceptive judgment – or both. Those of us who’ve had to use a sperm bank, though, arguably suffer from the problem of too many choices and too much information. We end up knowing more about the potential fathers of our children than some men, or women for that matter, know about themselves.

But even though the choice of sperm donor wasn’t such a difficult one, it wasn’t one I made recklessly, either. I thought of it more like choosing to grow a garden. I knew, in the end, the seed would be much less important than the soil, the climate and the caretaking of the plants. But here’s the big difference, I doubt there are any gardeners out there who ever think to themselves: Yeah, these seeds look great. But what about someone else having the same tomatoes as me? How do I feel about that?

Personally, I didn’t give much thought to the idea of other children by the donor I chose. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say, I couldn’t. Just like I can’t give much thought to the dangers of walking alone in the city at night, or the idea of terrorists poisoning the water supply, or the possibility that I might ever be in a position to outlive Django. Some things, if you think about them too much, just plain paralyze you. They don’t do you any good...So I only briefly thought about Django having half-siblings elsewhere in the world. If they existed, or ever would exist, in my mind they seemed really far away.

You can imagine my surprise then, when – in one whirlwind of a weekend – I received emails from the moms of two other Donor #5704 babies. They weren’t just far away ideas; they’re real! And they’re beautiful, curly-haired, bright-eyed, curious, happy and outgoing little people, with moms who love them very, very, very, very, very, very much.

After riding an unexpectedly fast rollercoaster of emotion about it all, I landed right back where I started – feeling unspeakably blessed and lucky. Now Django will know, in the most concrete of terms, that there are others like him. Many others, perhaps. A select few of them, very much like him. To me that means there’s even less chance Django will feel isolated and alone because of my well-intended-yet-self-centered decision to bring him into this world without an everyday father. And that warms my heart.

We don’t know each other very well yet, but I am hereby pleased (and authorized) to introduce you to our extended donor-sibling family -- as pictured above, from top to bottom:

CCB #5704: A.k.a., "Daddy" (Photo 1)

DJANGO: You know already. (Photo 2)

SABINE: 19-months old now (Photo 4); 8-months old then (Photo 3); lives with her moms, Judi & Jenn, in Park City, Utah; loves to talk, play tricks & name animal sounds; turns red when she eats strawberries, and simply refuses to eat cakes & pies (!!!); looks especially cute when crawling in blue tunnels.

ALEX: 12-months old now (Photo 6); 6-months old then (Photo 5); lives in Washington, D.C., with his mom, Marni; loves swimming, tickling the ivories, and approaching strangers with cell phones at outdoor concerts; would rather dance & fingerpaint than eat a lot of solid food; knows how to get people to sing for him by using his sign language; looks especially cute when swinging.