Now

While I spent much of the workweek either in the copy room with a bunch of worksheets or in the supply closet with my breast pump, Django spent his days with two loving and wonderful niÑeras – Graciela & Marixa – and his new little lady friend, Sylvie. Guess who had the better time.

Reports have it that Django & Sylvie got carried and strolled around the sunny streets of San Francisco, held hands, shared naps and swapped drool via their toys. The only thing they didn’t do too very much is sleep. You would think this would have the benefit of making a baby MORE tired at night, but in fact it has the opposite effect. So not only did I miss all the fun while I was at work, I also got an extra dose of evening frustration. Not fair. Not fair at all.

I was thinking to make up for lost time this weekend. But that’s the thing about lost time, you never get it back. The more you try, the more you keep losing the time you’re in. It’s a vicious cycle. The only way to break it is to resolve to live firmly in the now – which is about as easy walking backwards all day. There’s something about it that’s sort of scary and uncomfortable unless you really get the hang of it. I’ve always been someone who’s had a hard time getting the hang of it. But today I really tried. Harder than ever. Because the ‘now’ is slipping by so fast.

Django and I greeted the day slowly, lazily, with lots of snorts and giggles. We rode the bus to our Baby Sign Language Playgroup at Kaiser. Wiggled some fingers, made some faces, sang some songs. Then we shared coffee and a sweet treat with Tedra & Max (7 mos.) – who we’re excited about spending LOTS of time with starting in the fall, when Tedra and I will be sharing a classroom as well as taking care of each other's babies. After that we ran a bunch of errands in Noe Valley, with a good, long, break at the park in between.

Pretty soon Django will be a ‘big’ kid, off running and sliding and bouncing on his own. But for today he was simply my beautiful baby in the baby swing.