This Time Last Year

I've always had much for which to be thankful. Always been one of the proverbial lucky ones. And, if I don't blow it big somewhere along the way, I like to think that chances are good Django will be, too -- though I won't be taking that for granted.

With Django's 1st birthday just a few days away, I've found myself spending quite a bit of time thinking back to this time last year...Making the usual 3.5 hour drive down the coast to convene with family over a giant Thanksgiving meal didn't sound very appealing to my then-170lb self. First of all, it would've meant having to catch my 3 rabbits and get them into a rental car, too -- which is no easy feat, even without 30lbs of baby dangling out in front. Secondly, the only thing I felt there was room for in my stomach was bubbly water. And, finally, possibly going into labor on the 101 just wasn't part of the birth plan. I didn't want to risk it.

As it turned out, the usual hosts of the family Thanksgiving on the central coast -- the Kautz clan -- all came down with a stomach flu and had to cancel the event. I ended up spending my evening still in the Bay Area at the emergency vet hospital with Honeybun, the head of my rabbit household, who had mysteriously gone all wonky, unable to sit up straight or hop without toppling over and twitching violently. It would've been a lost & miserable holiday all around, if it wasn't for Tori bringing over cheery, little Zoe and a late-night plate of Thanksgiving leftovers from her house, and joining me for a much-needed glass of wine.

This year, by contrast, was absolutely everything Thanksgiving is cracked-up to be, and absolutely everything last Thanksgiving was not -- full of family, food, happiness and health for all creatures, great & small. But that's not exactly what I felt most grateful for at the end of the day. It was the sense that I'm living a life-in-motion now, in a way I never have before. (I don't mean toddler-chasing, either, though that's certainly a new sport for me.) In fact, I mean something I'm not actually sure I can describe, something like the difference between swimming and treading water. I'd say the feeling has something to do with moving 'forward' except that would imply I have a destination in mind. In reality, I don't think I know any more about where I'm 'going' with my life this year than I did last, possibly even less, but I do have the distinct impression I'm now really getting somewhere. And I know exactly who to thank.