At the risk of saying something completely obvious while sounding as though it's highly illuminating...parenting is a whole other country -- different language, rules of the road, currency, bathroom protocol, just to name a few. You'd think it'd require a passport, or a least a special visa issued only after appropriate background and character checks were performed. But lo and behold, they let anyone in. Just look at me, and Jamie Lynn Spears, if you need proof.
In case you also didn't know this already, babies are born with claws at the end of their teeny, tiny, little, snappable-like-a-twig fingers. That leaves a nervous new parent two choices: 1) keep them in mittens until they're 6 and would love an opportunity to attempt to trim their own (or others') nails with the scissors in their 1st grade classroom; or, 2) figure out how to swindle someone else into solving the problem. I tried asking for a "demonstration" from the pediatrician, but instead she gave me a "talk-through." I begged my mom, but apparently her generosity stops at full room, board and 24/7 babysitting services. Then I realized I should ask my sister, the expert mother of four. She told me what I couldn't quite swallow the other 2-3 times someone had suggested it: the safest way to trim a newborn's nails is to bite them off.
Who knew?
Late one night, slightly delirious and emboldened by whatever hormones it is that help keep me awake during these repeated 3a feedings, I tried it. I admit, it worked, and neither Dj or I was terrorized in the process. Still, I'm looking for an expert to do the job for me. So, if any of you nail-biters out there are looking for a guilt-free way to satisfy the urge -- and do a good deed at the same time -- come on by.
2 comments:
shit, i just learned something new by reading this!
I think I "tore" them off. My sister said she had these cute little nail scissors that were blunt at the tip and cut then off. Love your writing and descriptions. However, you and Baby Sister Spears have little in common!
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